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I love femininity and I love women.  I enjoy being a woman and I don’t ever remember a time when I did not delight in feminine interests such as make up and hair care products.  I’m what you would call a girls girl.  I think that femininity is something to be admired and respected.  Unfortunately, in today’s world I feel my opinion puts me in the minority.

In my observations femininity has become something that people make fun of, disrespect and try to own and control.  Women that use make up and other products to give themselves a more feminine appearance are labeled high maintenance, thirsty or slutty.  I do not understand how people have come to this conclusion.  What’s wrong with a woman wanting to look feminine and presenting herself nicely?

It also seems to me that in 2015 femininity has become synonymous with slutty.  That’s very disturbing to me because I believe that it is possible to be a mature feminine woman without giving the appearance that you are sexually available to any man that winks in your direction.

I feel like some women have decided to present themselves in a more gender neutral way because it gives them a greater sense of power and makes them less vulnerable.  I suppose I can’t blame them.  Femininity is no longer seen as something to be protected, cherished and respected.  In modern times it is often thought of something to be controlled, abused and attacked.

I try to present myself with feminine grace physically and with actions.  That is not to say that I play dumb or make myself passive to men around me.  I think that femininity can be smart, strong, successful, powerful and independent.

I don’t think that femininity is something that exists strictly for a man’s pleasure.  It’s natural for a man to appreciate feminine beauty but it is not theirs to own.  A woman’s beauty is her own and it should be used to glorify God.  The way she presents herself is a reflection of who she is, and who her creator is.

I believe this misunderstanding is where the lack of respect and need to control femininity comes from.  People like to put down what they don’t understand and what intimidates them.  The availability of pornography and business marketing strategies have made men believe that attractive, young women should be readily available to them.

Men are taught that they are entitled to feminine beauty.  Therefore, women, especially attractive ones get labeled thots, hoes, bitches etc.  Attractive young women are seen as objects to be used and tossed to the side.  When they are old or used too much they are to be tossed aside for good.

Femininity is a part of God’s plan.  I’m a believer in Christ and I believe that femininity and masculinity are a part of God’s plan for our lives and the world we live in.  Pardon the reference to Eastern religion but masculinity and femininity are a part of the world’s yin and yang.  Both are necessary for harmony and balance.  Both are needed and should be respected.

Women should contribute beauty , softness and a delicate nature to the world.  American culture is dying for that.  The world we live in had become much more male dominant and masculine.  We are loosing respect for the feminine grace that gives us appreciation for art, poetry, flowers, fashion, fine china, flowers etc.  We are much more interested in things being fast, cheap, and in large quantities.  We love violent entertainment and sexualized humor.  It’s because we have no real respect for women any more and women are socialized to be more like men.

That leaves very few people left to be ladies.  Ladies, women hold any society together.  We set the standards for behavior and social mores. I think that women need to have more respect for feminine grace.  It starts with us.  Men will follow.

Love yourself as a woman and invest in yourself physically, intellectually and emotionally.  Your body is a temple.  You are worth good things and time.  The world desperately needs your feminine grace.

1 Corinthians 6:19  Or don’t you know your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you?  Don’t you know that you have the Holy Spirit from God, and you don’t belong to yourselves?

 

A Woman’s Worth

 

First of all I want to thank everyone that glances at my blog.  I really appreciate your time and your support is very encouraging.  I have been a writer practically all of my life.   I love words and stories.

I started writing in my first diary when I was in the third grade.  I have continuously been writing in journals since I was about thirteen.  I’ve done a little freelance writing work but other than that limited experience and my academic career my writing has never had an audience.

Thank you all for being that audience.  I hope some of my thoughts and experiences that I write about will entertain and or encourage you.  I hope that you can learn something from my perspective on the world we live in.

There are very few people that you can rely on in life.  In the 21st century many of the people that we cross paths with, befriend or fall in love with are often too involved with themselves to really care about anyone else.  They may be cute, great dancers or fun at parties and there is value in that but a lot of people don’t have anything meaningful to offer in a consistent long term relationship.

I’m an unmarried woman and one thing I want to be able to say about my (future) man is that he never let me down.  I want a man whose word is as good as gold.  If he says that he is going to do something I want to be able to rest assured that I can consider his promise a done deal.  I want a man that says what he means and means what he says.  That’s how I try to be and I really don’t think it’s very hard.

Regardless of all of the feminist rhetoric most of us grew up with a woman wants a man that she can depend on.  I think that all adults should be independent whether they are male or female.  But even independent women want a man that will prove to her that he there for her in a way that he is not available to anyone else.  That’s where romance starts.

If I get a flat can I call you?  If my engine dies will you be around to help?  If we make plans are you going to keep our date or will you get “busy”?  Are you going to tell me you love me or really show me.  I think that love is an action not just an emotion.

Once you get past all of the superficial prerequisites for dating such as looks, money, height, occupation, age, race, etc. all you are left with is character.  I think a person’s true character surfaces after three to six months of dating.  As I’ve gotten older that time period has gotten shorter.

There’s nothing sexier than a man that can be relied on in word and actions.  Quality character is sexy.  Truth, sincerity and honesty look great on men and women.  I’m sure that guys don’t like flaky girls either.   I think it’s time for men and women to start valuing each other more.  Icing is pretty and sweet but it’s worthless on it’s own.

 

Damian Marley – There for You

 

Last summer I had a job as a waitress at a diner in Mid Town Kansas City.  I served a woman one evening that was eating by herself at the counter.  The young woman was what many would describe as butch.  She was in fact a lesbian.  I know this because the woman propositioned me.  Of all the times I’ve been hit on or flirted with this was my favorite.

I am an absolutely heterosexual woman but I have to admit that lesbian stole a piece of my heart.  I couldn’t imagine dating or having any type of exchange of affection with a woman.  But I was still very flattered by this young woman’s attention.  She was very sweet, sincere and attentive.  She seemed to be interested in my as a person and I could see in her eyes that she was attracted to me.  It all felt genuine.

When men have hit on me in the past and even when I’ve dated a few I could see the wheels turning in their heads.  It was all a game that they were trying to win.  The prize I suppose was sex.  Not my mind, my heart or anything that unique to me.  Just the same old sex which they could get from any willing female participant.

Men can learn a lot from lesbians or at least the one in the diner last summer.  Just relax, be sweet and take an interest in an attractive person.  I want to emphasize that she is a person.  A woman is a person with a heart and mind.  Yes we are complicated but I think that should be intriguing to you, not intimidating.  I was impressed by how brave that young woman was.  She put herself out on a limb knowing that I was most likely straight.  She had no idea how I would react to her asking for my phone number.

There is no gain without risk.  If you really want to find the woman of your dreams you have to risk a little bit of your heart.  Just a little at first.  Extend yourself just enough so a nice woman knows that you are sincere and interested in learning about her likes, dislikes and interests.  Don’t just approach anyone that you think is available.

Wait until you think you’ve crossed paths with someone special.  Your heart is valuable too and it shouldn’t be wasted on just anyone.  Save your heart for someone that is worth the risk.  Believe me, we will know the difference if you are just practicing or have cruel intentions.

So be selective.  Be brave.  Be sweet.  Be sincere.  If you approach women with this in mind I believe you will make a special lady melt.  A lesbian almost did it to me last summer so I’m sure it will work for you.

 

The internet is still buzzing about the comments that Ayesha Curry made about her preference to dress modestly.  I’m really confused as to why such a mundane comment sparked any kind of controversy.  I actually didn’t see much disagreement to Ayesha’s comments.  I saw a lot of support for her opinion.  Many of the internet pundits that are supportive of Mrs. Curry choice to dress modestly are men.

These men used the opportunity to applaud modesty and to make backhanded “hos” that don’t.  Tweet after tweet was a man that praised this woman for choosing to keep her body covered for everyone except her husband.  Then they made a remark to all the “thots” that they were unmarried because they were too free with their bodies.

First of all who are all these hos and thots that internet men are always complaining about.  I use social media every day and I don’t see many of these women.  When I do I delete them.  This is how I know these men are full of crap.  Undesirable images and comments can creep into your news feed but for the most part each social media user sees what they choose to see.  If your news feed is jammed packed with half naked hos and thots you are looking for them.  And you like them.

In regards to Ayesha’s devotion to her husband one fact escapes many men.  Ayesha Curry is a Christian woman that married a Christian man.  Anyone that knows Stephen Curry knows that he is an active believer in Jesus Christ.  A Christian woman that chooses to save her sexuality for marriage will be attracted to a fellow believer in Christ.

If you want a particular quality in a partner you need to develop that quality yourself.  If you want someone that is intellectual you need to develop your intellect.  If you want someone that is honest you need to stop lying.  If you want someone that keeps a tidy house you can’t be a slob yourself.  If you want someone that practices modesty and sexual purity you need to practice that yourself.  And regardless of what you’ve been taught women look for leadership from men.

If is completely unrealistic for a man to think that he can glue his eyes to porn, hang out in strip clubs and go to bed with every woman that will allow it but still be able to marry a woman of conservative morals.  She won’t want you and the two of you will have nothing in common.  If you have no morals but you want a partner with morals you are a hypocrite that forces their opinions and values on other people and no one finds that attractive.  There is an Aretha Franklin song that says “If you want a do right woman, you need to be a do right man.”  Truer words were never spoken.

Aretha Franklin Do Right Woman, Do Right Man

Ayesha Curry, wife of NBA MVP Stephen Curry is trending on Twitter today.  She tweeted that she only likes to reveal her body to her husband.  I’m unsure why she made that statement because it seems obvious to me that any married woman would make a similar statement.  Most of the Tweets in reference to Curry are supportive even though a few are crass and take shots at women in general.

A few weeks ago former NFL quarterback was trending on Facebook because of a breakup that he had with his girlfriend.  According to the internet articles Tebow was dumped by the former beauty queen because he refused to have sex with her.  I read numerous social media comments that called him gay.  I don’t know whether Tebow is gay or not but I don’t think that refusing to fornicate with a woman that society has deemed attractive is proof of homosexuality.  I’m pretty sure that I know gay men that would have sex with an attractive woman if she offered herself on a platter.

Earlier this year Superbowl winning Seattle Seahawks quarterback began dating pop start Ciara.  Russell made a comment to the media that they were abstaining from sex and that it was his responsibility to lead Ciara to Christ.  Once again there were numerous social media comments calling Wilson a closet homosexual.  Social media pundits made fun of their relationship for maintaining Godly standards for themselves.  They had been dating for about three months at the time.

If you are familiar with Ayesha and Stephen Curry, Tim Tebow or Russell Wilson you know that they are all outspoken Christians.  If you are familiar with the Bible at all you know that fornication is a sin and women are called upon to be more than sex objects for the general male population.  I am unsure if people are unfamiliar with the Bible or if they are familiar with it but they are jealous or just disdainful of people that try to put God’s word into practice.

Either way I think that it is very sad that men that choose to not use and abuse women are thought to be closet homosexuals and women that are not competing in the slut show are thought to be anti feminist prudes.  That’t American culture in 2015.  You are free to be or do anything you want with criticism except be a Christian that tries to put God’s teachings into practice.  People love to accuse Christians of being hypocrites but the get angry when a Christian tries to act like a Christian.

Proverbs 31:10

A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.