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White People’s News: Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner
I recall the Jonas Brothers being popular. They were of no interest to me and I wasn’t their target audience. I know Sophie Turner because of social media. She and Joe Jonas made many red carpet appearances. She’s also on the popular show Game of Thrones. I’ve seen one episode of Game of Thrones. It’s not really my cup of tea.
I’m not into either of these people and I don’t know much about their careers. This couple is in the gossip blogs right now and trending on the internet because Joe Jonas filed for divorce from Sophie Turner. This post is my completely uninformed opinion about their marriage.
Supposedly Joe is divorcing Sophie because she is a party girl. Joe claims that Sophie is more interested in going out than she is in staying home with her children. That’s the story social media is telling and the girls on social media are supporting her much like they did when KeKe Palmer had a lover’s quarrel with her significant other. Let’s assume that the rumors are true and the marital strife is as simple as Sophie’s active social life.
Sophie should apologize to Joe and stay home more often. It’s likely Joe is the best person they’re ever going to get. That’s not a reflection on Sophie. It’s the modern human life progression. Sophie is twenty seven and Joe is thirty four. If Sophie and Joe return to the dating pool after four years of marriage (they started dating in 2016) most of the men her age will be single dads and men that have been sleeping around since high school.
The dad bods and receding hair lines are setting in. Men are at the beginning stages of being ran through. She will have to negotiate a new relationship with the concerns of a mother. She’ll need to consider her children while vetting potential suitors. Even if Joe is a pain a new man would likely be a pain too and now everyone is older and more complicated.
I’ve watched the Teen Mom series since it started over a decade ago. Watching that show over the years taught me that the best man or woman some people ever have is someone they meet when they are young. Some of the Teen Mom cast members like Gary and Macy improve their partnerships but most don’t really improve their lot in life.
Amber never did better than Gary. Kail never did better than Jo or Javier. Leah never upgraded from Corey. Kiefer was the best man Janelle ever had. Brianna hasn’t found anyone better than Devoin. Ryan has made lateral moves but he hasn’t maintained a relationship due to his drug habit and brushes with the law. Farrah never loved a man more than she loved Derrick. (Derrick died in a car accident so her situation is different.)
Most of the secondary and tertiary relationships on the Teen Mom have been as mess messier than the earlier relationship even though they were young. It would be different if people broke up and decided to stay single because they didn’t like being partnered but they just find a new partner.
I’m focusing on Sophie because it’s a man’s world. Joe is a very successful man and single fathers do not have the same stigma as single mothers. Joe likely wouldn’t have a problem finding a new partner. There isn’t the same stigma against single dads like there is for single moms.
Joe wouldn’t have the same concerns about protecting his children as a single parent. It’s statistically proven that children are more vulnerable when they live with men that are not blood relatives. But it’s still a family split that will come with complications. Joe probably won’t find anyone necessarily better than Sophie either. Joe met Sophie while she was very young. He needs to give her a break.
There are no winners in this. I’m not suggesting that anyone stay in a situation that is abusive or that makes them miserable. But if friction and misunderstandings can be smoothed out give it a chance. Marriage should be a vehicle for personal growth. Your spouse shouldn’t be seen as disposable. That concludes my arm chair quarter backing of the lives of strangers.
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Tuesday Morning Prayer 9.5.23
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Late Summer Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died
I listened to I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy. It’s OK. I think it would be a good book for a book club discussion. There is a lot to unpack which is what this book is about. When this book was released I was appalled by the title and marketing. They did that for shock value and controversy.
The way the book was marketed doesn’t really reflect the the book. That happens often with popular books. I’m Glad My Mom Died is more about Jeanette’s personal journey from child actress to adult than it is her relationship with her mother.
Jeanette McCurdy was a child star who became famous on the Nickelodeon series iCarly which ran from ’07-’12. Her mother was a stage mom who had cancer most of her life and died when Jeanette was eighteen. I’m going to describe Jeanette’s mother as a real piece of work. Her mother was manipulative and pushy and didn’t respect boundaries or other people including her daughter.
Her mother had great instincts for styling and show business. She was also a great advocate for her daughter. Sometimes I think stage parents get a bad rap. Despite her significant faults I think the same can be said for Jeanette’s mother too.
The proof is in the pudding. From Mozart, to Usher, to Kobe Bryant to Jeanette McCurdy it’s hard to argue with their success. I have a difficult time imagining having cancer for sixteen years so I won’t judge her harshly but yeah, her actions were questionable and there were some serious character flaws. The mom was a real piece of work.
Family dynamics are complicated. I think that’s especially the case for relationships between mothers and daughters. We all have a lot to unpack. Jeanette is thirty one now. If I met her I would tell her that it took me a long time to see my parents as merely human with their own story of which I am a small part. Once people come to understand their parents as a man and woman on their own journey it becomes much easier to understand and empathize with them.
Jeanette isn’t married nor has she had children. It would be interesting to know what that journey would be like. I would also tell Jeanette that most people would admit to taking on a lot of their parents quirks and thought processes as they get older.
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Late Summer Review: Love, Pamela
I listened to Love, Pamela on audio book. It’s the life story of actress, 90s pop culture icon and sex symbol Pamela Anderson Lee. I enjoyed the book even though it was a bit dull at points and her voice was a bit monotone. Most of the tension is at the beginning of the book that discusses her child hood. Her parents had a rocky but long lasting marriage. Pam was taken advantage of sexually when she was a girl by a female baby sitter and a young man she met socially.
Overall Love, Pamela is a light hearted story about a poor Canadian girl’s chance discovery by an agent and rise to stardom. She enjoyed her Hollywood lifestyle and admires the characters she met along the way. She felt honored to be a part of the projects she worked on like posing for Playboy. Her story is feminine and charming.
This book is a testament to the power of feminine sex appeal and the opportunities it offers. I admire women that embrace femininity and understand that it is powerful. Pam accomplished a lot for animal rights and environmental causes due to her notoriety. Pam enjoys art and literature. She loves being a mother to her two sons.
Pamela seems like a cool person. She always seemed that way to me. Pamela Anderson has had very interesting experiences that give her an interesting life perspective. This book isn’t very exciting but you may like it if you like Pam and pop culture.
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Question of the Day 8.28.23
Daily writing promptShare a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.I traveled to Israel in 2004 for nine days. I saw the sights, floated in the Dead Sea and was baptized in the Jordan River. The trip was overwhelming because so much information was shared. I would like the opportunity to visit Israel again.
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Good Morning #Monday
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Summer 2023 – I Got COVID
I caught COVID for the first time last week. It started with an itchy throat and ears. The next day I slept till after noon, got up briefly and went back to bed the rest of the day. I slept most of the next day as well. The HR department at my job told me to I needed to stay off work for five days. I slowly got better and on the fifth day I got a negative result on an at home COVID test.
Having COVID is the sickest I’ve ever been (aside from side effects from the COVID vaccine). The only thing that comes close was getting chicken pox as a teenager. I didn’t have to be hospitalized and I recovered fairly quick but I definitely see that COVID is a serious matter. I understand how it can be highly concerning for children, elderly or those that already have health problems.
I wish people had been more level headed about COVID and didn’t make it a divisive political matter. Infectious diseases are not a matter of politics.
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Empty Well
You might be trying to draw water from an empty well. You might be trying to get blood out of a stone. You might be trying to withdraw funds the account might be depleted. The man that wrote this tweet is an empty well, stone, depleted account and so are the >14k people that liked this tweet.
This man is shallow and has a shallow perception of women. His interest in women is surface level. This man has no interest in the woman’s humanity and her story. He can’t seek to understand her personality, intellect or heart. He doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to navigate a relationship with a woman. He doesn’t have the ability to have an intimate bond with a woman. He can only fake a relationship and use it to satisfy his needs.
The dehumanization of women is common in early twenty first century western culture. Women are largely seen as sexual tools, emotional support animals and a variety of occupations that bring other people comfort. The dehumanization spans race, economic background and education levels but Black women are most commonly dehumanized.
Women need to take time and inspect the well. Check his account. Make sure he’s flesh and blood and not stone. Make sure there is a supply of good character to draw from.
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There is no Honesty Without Transparency
Some people define honesty as not actively telling a lie. If that is the standard in a relationship where there needs to be a level of trust and vulnerability between the parties involved the bar needs to be raised. If there is no transparency there is dishonesty.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transparent
You don’t owe it to everyone to reveal every detail about yourself. Privacy and discretion offer protection and dignity. It should be appreciated. But in some relationships there must be transparency in order to be fair to both parties and achieve trust and intimacy. It takes time and discernment to know when to keep quiet and be distant and when to open up to others.
Some relationships require trust to function well and be satisfying. All parties involved need to be open and forthcoming with information that relates to their relationship or joint venture. If one party gives the other a false impression through not sharing information that concerns the joint endeavor this leads to a false reality for one of the parties. If the parties involved are honorable and respect and care for each other they don’t want there to be any false impressions. False impressions lead to hurt, anger and feelings of betrayal.
If one party is not telling the entire story and creating a false impression they don’t respect the other. They are self centered and are creating leverage for themselves. They are in that relationship to use the other party.
In a friendship, romantic relationship or business relationship it is important to build trust. One way to do that is to share truths and be considerate of the other parties interest. It takes time to build trust and intimacy. Use discernment and ask God for help and guidance through prayer.
Accept transparency and nothing else in relationships that deserve it. If a person can’t offer transparency in a relationship that requires trust keep them at arms length or don’t interact with them at all. If you can’t be transparent with another don’t fake a relationship. Without transparency there is no honesty, intimacy, trust or respect. Dishonesty is more than a matter of actively telling lies.
Thoughts, Observations, Impressions
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