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Watch “Prayers: Thursday, July 13 ☀️✝️🙏🏿” on YouTube
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Question of the Day 7.12.23
Daily writing promptWhat strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?Get enough rest at night and eat reasonably.
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Summer Book Review: Manhood
I listened to “Manhood” by Josh Hawley on audio book. For context, Josh Hawley is my senator. I didn’t vote for him and I don’t like him one bit. However he isn’t wrong about everything. I agree with part of his point of view in this book. Don’t judge me.
Hawley expressed concern for the state of American manhood. I have some of the same concerns. Manhood and masculinity is necessary in families and society in general. American culture doesn’t respect masculinity and tends to emasculate men. Men, women and children suffer for the lack of respect for masculinity in American culture. I’m glad Senator Hawley made that statement publicly.
The book goes south because Hawley blames everything on Democrats and “woke” ideology. That doesn’t make any sense to me because this isn’t a political matter. Hawley cites statistics in his book that state a high number of young men don’t participate in the workforce, live with their parents, don’t marry, aren’t sexually active, spend a lot of time playing video games and consuming pornography. I don’t think Democrats, the LGBT community can be blamed for all of that.
As a senator Hawley could favor a higher minimum wage, union labor, easier access to higher education, trade school programs and affordable housing. As a Christian man he could encourage men to seek guidance from the Bible and share Biblical principals. He doesn’t do either.
Josh Hawley is a useless senator and acts as a chaos agent. His book discusses so called Christian ethics but not discipleship, faith in Christ or Bible study. His book largely references the old testament which is weird to me. The premise of “Manhood” is worth consideration but the book takes a quick nose dive quickly. Hawley doesn’t offer any solid solutions. It’s as if he forgets he’s in the US Senate.
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Summer Book Review: Finding Me
I recently listened to “Finding Me” by Hollywood actress Viola Davis on audiobook. I enjoyed the book and I recommend it. The book is Viola Davis’ biography and I think a number of people would find it interesting. The book touches on a lot of topics.
Viola has an interesting life. She grew up in poverty with her siblings and became a movie star with an adopted daughter and loving husband. The journey includes an abusive father, instability, bullying from class mates, sexual assault, racism, health problems and unhealthy adult relationships with men. Viola also discussed her work as an actress and experiences on Broadway and Hollywood.
If you are interested in history, sociology, the effects of poverty, colorism, racism or show business you will find “Finding Me” interesting. There is a lot to say about this book but I don’t want to discuss it here for those that are interested in the book. Mrs. Davis’ story is engaging and I think she deserves a Grammy for her voice over work.
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Black women spent a week defending women dressing like a street walker with vigor and passion. Black women were ready to march across the Edmund Pettus Bridge in order to defend wearing as few clothes as possible with no criticism from anyone. Black women were more concerned about dressing in lingerie in public than missing Black children or the Supreme Court ruling that states that what’s left of Affirmative Action is unconstitutional.
I’m a Black woman and I don’t understand why dressing like a whore is so important to so many Black women. We don’t live in Saudi Arabia or Iran. For the most part a woman can wear what she chooses with no real consequences. Black women on Twitter don’t even want criticism for exposing private areas of their bodies.
It started with a topless IG photo of Tracy Ellis Ross. Tracy received criticism for that photograph that I honestly didn’t think was fair. The criticism said that she was too old to post such a photo. I don’t know what age has to do with it. Fifty six year old Salma Hayek didn’t receive the same criticism after posting a thirst trap in her bikini a few days later.
However I don’t think there was a reason to rally the troops and defend Tracy. Tracy Ross doesn’t really care what the masses think of her. She just needs the page views and clicks. Tracy intentionally posted a sexually suggestive photo that was intended to get attention. She wanted attention and traffic to her IG page and she got it. There was no reason for Black women to defend her honor when honor is not what she was seeking.
Twitter erupted with chatter about Keke Palmer and her boyfriend. Keke’s boyfriend made a disapproving tweet about his girlfriend’s attire that she she wore to an Usher concert in Las Vegas. Her entire backside was exposed in her see through dress.
I think any man would be uncomfortable with his significant other being serenaded by an R&B star with her behind exposed. He was dragged and emasculated on Black Twitter for days. Social media said he was insecure, jealous and trying to dim Keke’s shine all because he didn’t approve of the dress she wore on her mom’s night out. Keke Palmer and her baby daddy even ended up on CNN.
The next incident involved India Arie’s criticism of Essence Fest. India felt some of the acts were too sexually suggestive and Black women in the music industry were presenting too much of a prurient image. She specifically mentioned Janelle Monet and Meg the Stallion. Janelle exposes her breasts on stage and Meg simulates sex and dances like a stripper.
I agree with India’s point of view. I’ve noticed for years that Black women celebrities are presented as cheap and slutty. Black women insulted India Arie on social media for days.
I don’t understand why dresses in a sexually suggestive manner is so important to Black women. The clothing that is debated is intended to raise eyebrows so I don’t understand the discomfort with those clutching their pearls. Isn’t that the point?
Black women in mainstream media are portrayed as highly sexual, or a sexual and frumpy. Those are usually the options. It’s unfortunate the so many Black women aren’t in favor of a refined, feminine image. I feel like a lot of Black women have fallen for a racist mind trick of a media that has always protected the image of Whiteness. I though Black women were smarter than this.
I’m not saying sexualized acts should be banned but it’s odd to me that there isn’t one clean cut young, Black pop star. There is no Black equivalent to Taylor Swift or a modern day match to Whitney Houston. The media feels the need to tie pushing boundaries that border vulgarity with Black female sexuality and Black women loudly support this on social media. Smarten up girls.
The voices of Black women that are more reserved, modest and traditional are silenced, vilified and not tolerated within the Black community. Black Twitter is doing the job of racists and White supremacists in the name of feminism that does nothing but encourage a trashy image. Black women need to stop doing everyone’s dirty work.
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Watch “Characteristics of Christian Women” on YouTube
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Question of the Day 7.7.23
I’m a reality TV historian specializing in MTV, VH1, Bravo and other cable productions.
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SCAM ALERT – Don’t Barter! Stop Negotiating You’re Worth
Dating and relationships are a common topic on social media. That’s particularly true in Black social media spaces. These discussions have no real merit. Their intent is not to come to an understanding and create harmony. The intent is to gaslight, degrade and manipulate women, particularly Black women. The intent of these conversations is to get women to barter with abusive men and negotiate their worth to a lower value.
Social media discussions about relationships often tell women, particularly Black women, they need to choose better and if they aren’t treated well in a relationship they should leave. That’s straight forward and fair but the advice isn’t meant to be helpful. It’s a way for disrespectful, predatory and abusive men to avoid responsibility for their actions. It’s a way to shift the responsibility from the ill-intentioned person to the victim. It also makes poor behavior more difficult to define and recognize. It’s highly manipulative.
For context this is the tweet that inspired this blog post.
It goes without saying that a woman should end a courtship if it’s not respectful and validating. If there are more questions than answers and the relationship becomes frustrating, stressful and painful she shouldn’t spend more time and energy on the affair. If the relationship is less than loving, respectful with clear intentions and boundaries it’s not worthwhile.
But why are there questions and frustration in the first place? Why is the man “nonchalant”? How did the pair find themselves in a relationship in the first place? The man likely approached the woman and presented himself as a potential romantic partner. He kept up the act long enough for the woman to invest in him emotionally, physically or financially before she cut communications.
The man is still a problematic. He should not have set out to use and toy with the woman. Regardless of her actions he will repeat the cycle with someone else because that’s how scammers operate. Con artists don’t have any real interest in their victim. They are self centered and goal oriented. Once they extract what they want they don’t care if the other party leaves. It’s likely what they want because their target is a mere bother now.
There is nothing for a woman to feel bad about as far as her actions. She accepted an invitation from a potential suitor that she found charming. She was interested in dating and the possibilities that that held. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s only human. Her basic human desires were exploited by someone wanting to take advantage of her.
The account that created the tweet that set me off is now suspended. The woman under the tweet that was bickering with me may have been a phony troll account but it’s hard to say. Unfortunately, it’s highly likely that a woman would say think a woman should share the responsibility of a man’s bad behavior and poor personal choices. It’s not an uncommon point of view. I think this thought process is common among Black Americans. Women are often made scapegoats in order to spare men’s egos and images.
Men should not approach women with thoughtless and harmful intentions. Those are his choices. His female companion’s reaction to him doesn’t change his integrity. Adults are accountable for their actions. Boys will be boys is no excuse past around ten. If a man can’t be held responsible for himself he shouldn’t be dating.
His negative actions, emotional problems and biases are not your fault! His predatory and deceptive spirit ways are not your fault. Don’t take on the responsibility for his actions. That will help you understand your worth. That will help you leave a damaging relationship sooner. His actions and flakiness are not your fault! You’re not responsible if you’re a victim of someone’s lies. That’s NOT your fault!
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Watch “🙏🏿” on YouTube
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Question of the Day 6.27.23
Spirituality is very important and it shouldn’t be neglected. Your spirit and soul need as much attention if not more as material aspects of your life. For context for me spirituality mean Bible study, prayer and a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Thoughts, Observations, Impressions
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