Thoughts, Observations, Impressions

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  • Fall Review: Hillbilly Elegy

    I just finished “Hillbilly Elegy” by Ohio Senator and Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance. I hate listened to this book and I hated it as expected but not to the degree I thought I would. The book has some value and merit.

    I think there is something to be gained from reading or listening to this book. But Senator Vance’s story highlights the hypocrisy of his political party.”Hillbilly Elegy” is not exactly entertaining. JD Vance did a good job of narrating but his voice is a bit flat. But it’s still an interesting read especially in these times.

    “Hillbilly Elegy” is JD Vance’s life story. He grew up in Kentucky and Ohio in a dysfunctional, poor family. After high school JD went to the Marines in the Iraq War era, Stanford and Yale law school. He reflects on his life from a position of financial security and success.

    JD offers his sociological theories about the problems of what he refers to as the White, working class. He uses the term White, working class interchangeably with Hillbilly. I don’t have a dog in this fight but this book is a disrespectful towards White people that are not well educated with professional careers. They really should not support Republicans any more than Black Americans, immigrants, women or the LGBT community should.

    I enjoyed the way JD Vance talked about how reliable and protective his late grandmother, MeeMaw was. I love the way he never doubted her loyalty and love for her family. I enjoyed hearing about Senator Vance’s military experience. I respect US soldiers.

    The senator talked about his Ivy League experience. He talked a lot about social capital and networking. JD Vance said successful people get that way due to multi generational social capital, networking, knowing the right people, being liked by the right people, having the right suit and knowing how to act.

    The Republican platform has told poor and working class people that hard work was the key to success for generations.  They are very hypocritical.  Republicans have acted as if wealth is a virtue and poverty is a character flaw. “Hillbilly Elegy” goes into detail about social capital and connections being the key to success.

    “Hillbilly Elegy” is worth your time if you’re interested in politics, current events and perhaps sociology even though Senator Vance doesn’t offer many hard numbers or talks about research. I’ve read several books written by political figures (actually all written by the Obamas). It’s worthwhile to get to know the backgrounds of our law makers. This book has also been adapted to a film version if you don’t feel like reading or listening to it.

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    I’ve noticed that some people like to ask trick questions. Trick questions let people project the image they have of you and you inadvertently validate it. The question is more of a prompt or a test than wanting an answer. Trick questions also let people ask questions indirectly because they don’t have the nerve to say and ask what they really want to ask. This has happened to me several times in job interviews and last weekend at the grocery store.

    Job interviews like to ask hypothetical questions and assume you’ve participated in the behavior they’re asking about. For example:

    Question: Tell me about a time you had a conflict at work. (I’ve been asked this many times on job interviews. It’s hard to know how to answer this question.)

    Truth: I haven’t had many conflicts at work. I usually get along well with other people. The few times I’ve had conflicts it was in high stress, low wage industries such as retail and food service. Those environments are prone to conflict. The people that I had conflicts with had a problem with me. There was no real conflict. I responded to their behavior with grace. They didn’t deserve it but that’s what I gave them.

    What I said: I don’t really remember. I had a hard time answering.

    What I should have said: I’m a professional. I’m applying for a position in a professional environment with other educated professionals. I focus on my work and anticipate others will do the same. I don’t anticipate having a conflict.

    Question: How often do you think it’s acceptable to miss work? (I applied to Target years ago for a cashier position when I was asked this. I wasn’t hired.)

    Truth: I rarely missed school grades k-12. I rarely missed classes as a college students. I rarely missed work. It’s hard for me to answer this question because this doesn’t apply to me.

    What I should have said: I should have said that good attendance and punctuality are very important and I rarely missed school or work. I’ve missed commitments only when I’ve had a contagious illness.

    Question: Do you anticipate not being able to work in the evenings? (I was asked this question in a job interview with a local city government for a programming position in the parks and recreation department.)

    Truth: The job mostly operated M-F during business hours. Sometimes there were programs during leisure hours. This was stated in the job posting. I understood this and wouldn’t have applied if I couldn’t fulfill the demands. I think the interviewer was trying to figure out if I had children. I specifically think he was trying to figure out if I was a single mother. This particular interview was very messy and weird.

    What I should have said: The job description gives the impression that this is mostly a job that requires traditional business hours with occasional nights and weekends. Can you be specific about the hours? Did I misunderstand the description? I have no time restrictions but I prefer to work mostly business hours.

    Question: $30?

    Truth: I went to the grocery store last weekend and requested $20 cash back on a debit card purchase. The cashier accidentally shut his draw before giving me my $20. The bagger was a supervisor and could open the drawer. The bagger/supervisor opened the drawer and asked me: $30? I’m unsure why he came up with that number. I’m pretty sure he could look at my receipt and know how much cash back I was owed. He thought he was going to catch me in a $10 lie. He was standing at the end of the aisle bagging groceries during the entire transaction.

    What I should have said: I said what I should have said which was the truth. I asked for $20 which is the truth. The bagger/supervisor gave me my $20. I said have a good day and left.

    Question:  So how did it go?

    Truth:  I’ve been asked this question on jobs before.   As far as I know everything went fine and routine.   They are already ahead and know something I don’t.   They don’t want to share whatever information they have.  They want you to verify, confirm or admit to something that they already know about.

    What I should have said:  Everything was routine.   If something was out of the ordinary or if there was a concern I would have let you know.  Is there something I should be aware of?

    Some people ask questions to get you to talk.  They are often fishing for information they are afraid to ask about directly.  Sometimes they ask questions to get an answer that validates their bias.  Quite often questions are not really questions but prompts and tests. I’ve had to learn to differentiate between an honest question and a set up over time.

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    Feminists are delusional and contradict themselves. Feminists need to reevaluate their message. I think feminists are very confusing. Feminists promote bodily autonomy and independence for women but not common sense, discernment and maintaining their dignity and safety.

    Feminsts call a provacative image body positivity, confidence, comfortable in their own skin, maturity, feminine and independent. Feminists encourage high risk behavior in women and encourage them to challenge boundaries and take risks in the name of pleasure.

    Feminists express disdain for so called patriarchal systems and traditions but when women are hurt by men they appeal for those institutions and social mores for justice and protection. They appeal to the patriarchy i.e. police, courts, sympathetic feeling towards women that they want to dismantle. It doesn’t make sense.

    Feminists do not tie discernment, asserting yourself, boundaries and survival instincts to their freedom of movement and choice. It’s I am woman hear me roar until a woman is hurt by someone stronger, smarter, older, wealthier and influential than her.

    Feminists disregard women’s instincts, feelings and desires. They ignore the role that a women’s hearts play in relationships with men that they admire, are attracted to and in love with. Feminists don’t teach women how to protect themselves emotionally, spiritually or physically. Feminists set women up to fail and be victims.

    Feminists uphold the beliefs that they don’t need boundaries and that they can manage their relationships with men without being taken advantage of or hurt. Feminists need to regroup and form a new message because they play a part in the violence and hostility towards women. They are failing and not holding themselves accountable for their mistakes.

    https://people.com/chris-brown-documentary-investigating-pattern-of-abuse-trailer-8721245

    We live in an era of abuse scandals but there is often no real scandal or a surprise. Why are women surprised when they are mistreated by Chris Brown or Marilyn Manson? In many high profile sex scandals it turns out that the accused had a reputation for his deviant behavior like. The Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein cases are examples. The community of successful, famous, beautiful, wealthy and powerful people was aware of the drugs and abuse. But women still chose to go to the parties and participate.

    Sometimes the anti social behavior is a part of the stage act. Sometimes the abuse is documented and the accused is tried, convicted and sentenced as in the case of Chris Brown. But there is never a shortage of women wanting to be around these men. Women need to make different decisions for their own benefit.

    Why did women choose to be around these men? Feminists need to rebrand and tell women to be smart, discerning and protect themselves. It wouldn’t hurt to encourage women to be prudes and act like they believe men are bears. A pillar of feminism is that women can negotiate the world without a chaperone. But these women needed someone to act and speak on their behalf during their relationships with high profile men. They don’t want to be treated like property but it’s what some of them needed.

    I don’t understand how a man that has been accused of abusing women or children seem like a good person to choose as a friend, lover, boyfriend, co parent or husband. P Diddy’s record company is called Bad Boy. He sings that he’s a bad boy for life. Marilyn Manson’s stage persona is one of an androgyny, a Neo Nazi and devil worshipper. Why are you surprised that he’s a mean, weird creep?

    To be clear, I’m not standing up for any of these men accused of crimes regardless of the circumstances of their relationship. These men deserve their day in court and should serve their time if convicted or pay a settlement in civil court. I’m not a lawyer and this isn’t about the law. This is about women keeping themselves out of harms way from the start. Women putting themselves at risk doesn’t pay off very often. Even if no crime is committed she is putting herself at risk for hurt feeling and emotional damage. No don’t take a chance on love!

    It bothers me that feminists and movements like #metoo focus on celebrities meanwhile abuse of vulnerable women, men and children is ignored. There is a lot of work that needs to be done to stand up for vulnerable people that have been victimized. Modern feminists don’t seem to speak up about abuse when all the victims are poor.

    If feminists want women to be protected it will help if they encourage women to be smart, strong, independent and protect themselves by avoiding weirdos and criminals in the first place. Their voice is very important in this matter. Feminists can’t encourage young women to take risks and say nothing when the risk gets people hurt and killed.

    Feminist ideas of consent are not realistic. It will never work. Let me emphasize that I’m not talking about legal boundaries. That includes the way women present themselves. I’m talking about boundaries that will help keep women safe from harm. That starts with survival instincts, judging character and discernment. In an ideal world a woman can present herself as if she’s a woman that’s open to anything and participate in a decadent, permissive, highly sexualized environment and have her boundaries respected. The environment is disrespectful from the start.

    There was a social media trend that asked women if they would prefer to be alone with a man or a bear. Many said the bear. So why do women end up around men like Marilyn Manson and P Diddy? Why is there a show called “Love After Lock Up” about women (men too but I feel like the circumstances are not the same) that date and marry convicts. I understand why many said the bear but there is a big contradiction between what women say and what many do.

    I’m not a fan of Donald Trump but he once said “If you’re rich women will let you do whatever you want”. Trump is proves that theory. He has a horrible reputation for violence and sex crimes but he was elected as president of the US and put an accused rapist on the Supreme Court. I believe his female supporters are fan girls with crushes on him. There is no shortage of women willing to surround Trump with adulation.

    Feminists need to speak on women’s attraction to wealthy and powerful men. Women should want a prosperous man. I’m not saying choose poverty. That seems to lead to abuse too. But is a glamorous man worth your safety and dignity? If the answer is yes there is nothing anyone else can do on your behalf until a crime is committed.

    I think it’s great that feminists opened opportunities for women to pursue education and careers. A woman’s ability to support herself financially gives her the option to say no to criminals, creeps and weirdos or to leave a bad relationship. Why don’t feminists encourage that? They’re not discouraging women from becoming groupies and door matts for wealthy men. They encourage women to speak up about it after the fact.

    Social media feminists that use hash tags like #sexpositive #bodypositive #proho #proheax and #prosexwork need to hold themselves accountable for their poor messaging. I don’t think so called conservatives that promote #tradwife content are much better. It’s a similar message without the glam.

    They aren’t encouraging women to have self respect. It has been a big mistake to reject modesty (I don’t think women have to look like they live in a different century) and abstinence until marriage or at least a more prudent attitude towards sex. Women have been taught an unrealistic message about sexuality for decades and it’s created more harm, hostility and disrespect towards women.

    I blame feminism and they need to right their wrong. At this stage there has to be a regrouping and a new message for women on how to move forward in the modern world in regards to relationships with men. And no, I don’t think the social media Manosphere has the answers. They need to answer for their messages too. The Manoshphere has been a detriment to men.

    The world has changed a lot since the start of the feminist movement in the sixties. Women need to assess the world we’re in and make some personal choices in regards to how to go about relationships with men. It starts with empowering women to be be discerning and maintain boundaries that offer them some respect and protection.

    I hope no one is offended by this post. I’m not victim blaming or trying to shame anyone. I hope women will be encouraged to choose male companions based on character and take a poor reputation and image into account. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. I’m on women’s side.

  • I ❤️ Sundays! 🍂🍁🍂

    https://youtube.com/shorts/J7scOIEWj6c?si=XDxSezoEzt1UkFMl

  • Question of the Day 10.12.24 🎨🖌🖼

    Who are your favorite artists?

    Henry Ossawa Tanner and Edward Hopper

    https://whitney.org/artists/621

    https://americanart.si.edu/artist/henry-ossawa-tanner-4742

  • Recent Release Review: Joker: Folie à Deux

    SPOILER ALERT

    I will keep the spoilers to a minimum. But here is the big one that seems to have thrown everyone for a loop. Joker: Folie a Deux is a musical. This may be the most confusing musical of all time. None of the other films in the “Batman” or “Joker” series have been musicals. Three songs went by before I realized I was watching a musical. Twitter film critics that saw the film on Friday night hated it. They feel like they were tricked into watching a musical without their consent and they don’t appreciate it one bit.

    I didn’t mind that Joker: Folie a Deux was a musical. I enjoy musicals. Stephanie Germanotta, b.k.a. Lady Gaga was the co star and the producers would have missed an opportunity if they didn’t use Lady Gaga’s musical ability. It was kind of cute once I understood that this was a dark musical. Lady Gaga’s musicianship did not disappoint.

    Joker: Folie a Deux was OK. I kind of liked it. I’m giving this movie some grace because I’m a fan of the “Batman” and “Joker” films. There was a lot about this movie that didn’t make sense. I had to remind myself that the film is based on a comic book about a homicidal clown in a crime ridden city.

    Joker: Folie a Deux is very different from Joker. Arthur Fleck, bka Joker, played by Joaquin Phoenix was incarcerated and on trial in the sequel. Joker was about the crimes committed by Arthur. The trial of Joker for the murder of five citizens of Gotham is the trial of the century. Joker had more action and honestly gore whereas Joker: Folie a Deux was a quiet and dark with less gore.

    If you’re a fan of the series or comic books you may enjoy Joker: Folie a Deux. If you’re a Lady Gaga fan you may enjoy this film. It’s far fetched but I accepted it. It’s a musical which I accepted too. I gave the film grace and enjoyed it. I think others will enjoy it too if they give grace and use their imagination.

  • Question of the Day 10.7.24🙂

    Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

    I feel out of place most places.   I think it’s because I’m an only child and a childless spinster.  I’m fairly outgoing so I’ve always just powered through it.  A smile and hello can put everyone at ease.  I’m also comfortable quietly fading into the background.  It depends on the situation.

  • Monday morning prayer. Have a great week. 🌄 🛐✝️

    https://youtube.com/shorts/X0Hf52E59tw?si=kNKmArfDkT2iV9Q6

  • Oklahoma Superintendent Wants $6 Million Worth of Bibles 🤑📖