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I spend a lot of time on social media. I’ve probably been on some form of social media every day for the last thirteen years. I’ve made a lot of interesting observations and I’ve come to various conclusions. As a Black American woman I’ve come to the conclusion that Black American women need to learn to find balance in their lives.

Black American women need to get a life. Black American women need to relax and learn to enjoy things. My observation from social media use is that there is too much focus on advocacy. There are too many Black women on social media that make social causes their entire personality. It’s the lead in. We can’t all be Angela Davis and we should not try.

I’m not in favor of being a vapid, uninformed woman. That is also well circulated on social media in ditsy posts, fight and twerk videos. It’s as if Black women on social media need to adopt an online persona devoid of personality. She gets two choices: advocate or sex kitten. Both personas dehumanize Black women.

I don’t support the divestment movement on social media either. The divestment movement tells Black women to not take any interest in politics and social matters that affect Black Americans. This is completely delusional. Black Americans need to continue to make strides but I think we can go about seeking equality, justice and a better quality of life differently than past generations did. We’re not sharecroppers, laundry women and slaves anymore.

There is a sub culture on social media that promotes Black women living a “soft life”. By that they mean that Black women should learn to enjoy leisure. However, the subject matter and conversation is often sociopolitical. It’s not just about things like fashion, cooking, hobbies, etc. It’s just being Black and going on vacation or going to the park or something and the creator is hyper aware of being Black in the environment they are in.

Most of these content creators haven’t reported anyone hurting them or discriminating against them in a significant way. They are clearly uncomfortable and seeking validation. These travelers are driving themselves crazy when they need to just enjoy their vacation.

I follow an account on Twitter that discusses Black people in film. The account creator critiqued the upcoming movie Barbie and referred to it as a show about a White supremacist toy. I get it I guess but good grief. They take the enjoyment out of everything and I don’t think Barbie is doing anything to hurt anyone. People like that particular person on Twitter pick things apart and don’t address real and impactful matters.

It’s important to have convictions and stand by them. I admire passion, pride and devotion but I don’t think resistance is as useful in 2023 as it once was. Looking forward I think building infrastructure within families and communities is key. Black Americans have more tools and resources to do that now more than ever.

That takes emotionally whole and healthy people. That takes the proper social and networking skills. There needs to be balance. Black women need to know when to take a stand. Pick your battles wisely so you have energy to invest in yourself, in enjoyment and in relationships with those around you. Black women have more to offer the world than advocacy, political organizing and raging against the machine. In other words, get a personality.