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Women have a right to build a life for themselves. Life is hard and it takes strength. It takes self reliance. Adulthood requires being strong and independent. Strength, independence, self reliance, intelligence and making your own living are what competent adults do in the modern world.

Strength and independence is a matter of survival. That’s even more pronounced in the Black community where most people don’t have generational wealth and professional connections upon entering adulthood.

Some men see strength and independence in women as a detrimental quality when choosing a partner. Seeing weakness and co dependence in a partner as a desirable quality is questionable. It sounds like a scam to me. Women aren’t left with anything to rely on if their marriage goes south.

A woman’s strength, independence, education are not a man’s business. None of that has anything to do with him. That’s a woman public life. Women need to have a public life. Adults need to understand how to negotiate modern society. A amorous relationship is her private life. In private a man should treat a woman with respect if he values her as a lover and romantic partner.

It doesn’t matter if a woman is a lumber jack, kick boxer or marine. If a man appreciates her as a lover treat her like a jewel or exotic flower. In private treat her as your sweetheart and the woman should do the same in return. A relationship between significant others should be affirming and a respite from the rest of the world that requires strength and independence.

I think that men that praise women for being strong and independent want to do the bare minimum. Some of them want the strong, independent woman to help, invest and lead them. Men that think strength and independence in women are flaws seem like scammers that want to take advantage of women too. Men that want women with no education, career or social skills probably wants a partner that would be afraid or unable to leave an unsatisfying relationship. Everything men say about strong, independent women on either side of the spectrum is a scam.

There is nothing stopping men from supporting women. There are plenty of women in low or mid wage jobs. There are armies of food service and clerical workers that would gladly let a man support them partially or completely. There really aren’t many girl bosses out there. There are a lot of women that would like to be homemakers. Women can’t pursue that occupation unless it’s sincerely offered and backed up with receipts.

Women have the right to build the life they want. No one is going to get an adult out of bed in the morning and manage your life for you. Getting up every day and going out into the world takes discipline and strength. There is a lot to navigate in modern society and the workplace. Adults have to figure it out for themselves. That’s an asset not a detriment.

Men have the right to date and marry who they want but women shouldn’t have to cripple themselves socially in order to be seen as a viable mate. Unless a person has proven to you that they are devoted to you and have you interests at heart you need to look out for yourself. You need to be independent. Men who comment on women being strong and independent need to mind their business. They should be concerned with their own strength, independence, education, career and financial standing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0Oc2WL6JHo